A lot of people are uncomfortable in social situations. It's not that uncommon to feel a little tense, a little nervous, a little intimidated by a new group of people. It's perfectly okay to be a little hesitant to join that group when they'll all be comfortable with each other and have that group dynamic while you sit there trying to be invisible, right?
How the hell would I know? I totally bailed.
What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be, if not extroverted, at least not horribly fearful of the idea of being around others. I used to put on plays for my third grade class that I'd made up over lunch break. I sang a fracking solo in 1st(?) grade in front of all the school and all the parents. I ran for vicepresident of the 5th grade! I lost, but I ran! I made a speech and everything.
So what between then and now turned me into a social fucktard? Where did I go from being somewhat normal to being so introverted that even thinking about social situations makes me come pretty close to hyperventilating? It was definitely a deterioration with age. In grade school I was pretty okay with being around other people. Less so in middle school. By high school I was fucked and now I'm a freaking basket case.
I should just be a nun. I know I'm not exactly a good Catholic girl but really, their lives aren't all that different from mine. The praying might be problematic. I'd have to cut down on swearing. Otherwise... It might be the perfect life.
2 comments:
You have been swearing a lot lately! Maybe you should be a sailor instead of a nun.
Hey, I know this is a fairly old post, but for what it's worth, I just wanted to say that I think you're great! I really miss being able to talk with you as much as we used to when you w*rked at Highline! And as far as the shyness, that may be a by-product of becoming more aware.
Break out yer Zen dictionary and look up kundalini. That's what it is...
Post a Comment