Willie on the table.

Mom keeps putting bread and old cereal outside for the birds. They've been going through it pretty fast, but we figured they were just hungry. Then, this morning, she put old pizza out on the picnic table for the crows. A little while later, I went to get some coffee and who do you think I found on the table eating the pizza?

(Not a crow)

How the hell did he get up there? He must've really had to get a running leap, but the table is pretty slick. I wonder why he didn't just skid right across the top and go flying across the yard.

I keep thinking about sayings like "when pigs fly" or "when cows fly." Good Lord. Trust me, this would be so much worse.